Eclipse

Okay, seriously? This movie was terrible. I knew it was going to be terrible, since I've now seen all three Twilight movies. However, they are VERY entertaining if you watch them for the pure unintentional comedic gold.

The basic plot is Bella (a human) is stuck between choosing Edward (a vampire) and Jacob (a werewolf). It's really stupid because honestly, who ever ends up with the guy they dated in high school? It's a bunch of stupid teenage angst. I really thought my eyeballs were going to fall out since they spent most of the movie rolling towards the ceiling.

First of all, I know I am above the target age for these movies when the person I am most attracted to in the movie is Bella's dad. Maybe it is because he is the only person with any damn sense around this town. He's also the only likable character.

I don't get the attraction to Bella at all. I don't see how she has any FRIENDS, much less two guys fighting over her. She's not even that nice and she's kind of boring. The guys fighting over her is pretty hilarious though. Favorite scene? When they are in a tent on a snowy mountain and Edward can't keep Bella warm (you know, icy vampires), so he has to watch Jacob cuddle with her.

I also can't figure out these characters. Bella is boring, so there's not much to figure out there. But in the 2nd movie, Edward was a complete ass and Jacob was likable. In Eclipse, Jacob is an ass and Edward is actually kind of likable. Is there even a good choice here? So now I just kind of hate both of them and I kind of hate myself for even caring.

Eclipse pretty much says everything that is wrong with teenagers today. They're too angsty and too serious about stupid crap that doesn't matter. High school isn't the end of the world.

Verdict? 1/5 stars for actual artistic value...but it gets 5/5 stars for making me laugh pretty much through the entire thing.