Salt

I didn't have a ton if interest in seeing this movie, but I happened to be in the mall last weekend and my friend and I had nothing better to do. And I have a girl crush on Angelina Jolie.

Salt is about a CIA agent, Evelyn Salt (Jolie), who is accused of being a Russian spy. My favorite thing was how you never were quite sure if Salt was good or bad. I couldn't figure out if she was on the American side, or the Russian side, or a side all of her own. Most movies nowadays have trouble successfully keeping the audience guessing like that, but Salt pulled it off pretty well.

The only thing I had a problem with was how Angelina Jolie kept beating up two and three security guards on her own. That lady must weight 100 pounds. There is no way she could do that without breaking one of her skinny limbs.

Verdict?
4/5 stars. I really liked it! It was a fun action-packed summer movie.

Abandon

So, I've come to the conclusion that in high school and college I would buy ANY movie if it was cheap enough. I remember watching this movie in high school and thinking it was terrible and for some reason I bought it a few years later? I have no clue.

Abandon is a "thriller" (and I use that word loosely because it's not really that "thrilling") starring Katie Holmes before she went to the dark side. Oh, and Benjamin Bratt. Katie plays a girl named Katie who is kind of weird and in college (or maybe grad school...who knows). Her douchbag boyfriend disappeared a couple years ago and for some reason they are just now trying to figure out what happened to him. Benjamin Bratt is the cop assigned to the case. Oh and he's an alcoholic (although that has nothing to do with the story?).

Abandon was trying to be all creepy and mysterious with a twist ending, but it failed miserably. First of all, all the actors sounded like they were reading for a screen test. Everything was so scripted sounding and nothing felt natural. Also, there are a ton of scenes that don't really have anything to do with ANYTHING. Like when they went to that party and got drunk. There was NO point to that. Also the cop is an alcoholic thing. Why randomly show him at an AA meeting then barely bring it up again? We also learn in the AA meeting that the cop apparently woke up an found blood and hair under his car from the night before. This also never comes up again and has nothing to do with anything.

Also, what college has these creepy cubicles that they rent out in their basement? Katie had all kinds of personal stuff in this study cubicle, including pictures and Post-it notes...so she owns a cubicle in the library basement? It was weird. Not to mention the library was always abandoned (and apparently open 24 hours a day) and really creepy.

What was the deal with the seizure inducing party scene anyways?? It was like 10 straight minutes of bright, quick flashes of light from hell. It was really weird and I'm still trying to figure out if they were drunk or high or both. Actually, scratch that, I don't really care. It was another pointless scene.

I hated Emery (the missing ex-boyfriend). He was such a jerk. I have no idea why she liked him. She had sex with him after he made of fun of her and threw her planner and textbook out the window. This is a horrible relationship, so I don't really care what happened to him.

Verdict?
2/5 stars. The twist ending wasn't that original, but it kept it from being a total bore. I still don't know why I own this.

1408

I remember seeing this movie in the theater and I've read the short story it is based on, but I have no clue what happened in it. That should have told me something.

I know it's about a haunted hotel room, but that's about it. I have no clue why I bought this movie. It wasn't particularly memorable. It must have been really cheap.

It's about a "haunted places" writer, Mike Enslin (John Cusack), who stays in a supposedly haunted hotel room so he can write about it in his next book. Room 1408 has killed over 50 people, but Mike doesn't believe in ghosts.

1408 has a stellar supporting cast including Samuel L. Jackson as the hotel manager and Tony Shalhoub as Mike's editor. However, 90% of the movie is just Mike and Room 1408, which might be why it got a little boring. You can only watch so much of a room physically and mentally abusing a guy.

Some of the movie was just stupid. The hotel manager tells Mike that electronics don't work in the room - which is why there is not a magnetic key. But Mike's laptop works fine and so does the digital clock by the bed. Also, he can't get cell phone service, but he can get wireless internet to his computer?

Verdict?
2/5 stars. I'm just kind of in the middle with this movie. It wasn't particularly bad, but it just wasn't memorable. The short story by Stephen King was much better.

New Challenge

I just moved over the weekend and had to box and unbox all of my dvds again. Most of them I haven't even watched (bought them after I'd seen the movie in theaters or on tv, but haven't actually watched my own copy) or have only seen once.

So over the next few months (or probably longer), I'm going to try and go through every one of my dvds and watch them in alphabetical order...because that's how I store them.

And I have roughly 170-ish dvds I think? So this should be interesting...

Eclipse

Okay, seriously? This movie was terrible. I knew it was going to be terrible, since I've now seen all three Twilight movies. However, they are VERY entertaining if you watch them for the pure unintentional comedic gold.

The basic plot is Bella (a human) is stuck between choosing Edward (a vampire) and Jacob (a werewolf). It's really stupid because honestly, who ever ends up with the guy they dated in high school? It's a bunch of stupid teenage angst. I really thought my eyeballs were going to fall out since they spent most of the movie rolling towards the ceiling.

First of all, I know I am above the target age for these movies when the person I am most attracted to in the movie is Bella's dad. Maybe it is because he is the only person with any damn sense around this town. He's also the only likable character.

I don't get the attraction to Bella at all. I don't see how she has any FRIENDS, much less two guys fighting over her. She's not even that nice and she's kind of boring. The guys fighting over her is pretty hilarious though. Favorite scene? When they are in a tent on a snowy mountain and Edward can't keep Bella warm (you know, icy vampires), so he has to watch Jacob cuddle with her.

I also can't figure out these characters. Bella is boring, so there's not much to figure out there. But in the 2nd movie, Edward was a complete ass and Jacob was likable. In Eclipse, Jacob is an ass and Edward is actually kind of likable. Is there even a good choice here? So now I just kind of hate both of them and I kind of hate myself for even caring.

Eclipse pretty much says everything that is wrong with teenagers today. They're too angsty and too serious about stupid crap that doesn't matter. High school isn't the end of the world.

Verdict? 1/5 stars for actual artistic value...but it gets 5/5 stars for making me laugh pretty much through the entire thing.